Here’s to your health
The great thing about quitting smoking is that you can walk out of the store with $50 in chemical-laden junk food and when the clerk sees the patch, he's like, "Good for you, you're not getting cance....wait. You won't have a heart att....YOU'RE MAKING PROGRESS!"
James Bond’s Blues
I'm watching "Casino Royale" this evening. There's a part near the end where James Bond sends a one-line e-mail to M "terminating his employment with immediate effect", on a super-secret MI6 laptop and sails off into the sunset of the movie's final act.
And I laugh at that, every time.
Pretty sure MI6, like any large organization, has exit interviews, asset check-ins. He'd need to turn in his keycards and photo IDs. Clean out his desk. He'd have a line of people wanting to settle bets in the office pool, and another line of people coveting his office furniture and cubicle supplies.
Short version: truth is stranger than fiction.
I’m Going To Jurassic Park
(Sung to the tune of Death Cab's "I'll Follow You into the Dark".)
Love of mine, I very soon might die
from Tyrannosaurus bites
I'm going to Jurassic Park.
A Personal Plea to the Fine Folks at DiGiorno
When you stop sneaking a cardboard backing under your pizzas of the exact same size as your pizza that you instruct people to "place right on the oven rack", I'll stop nearly setting my apartment on fire.
You see, frozen pizza dough and cardboard have approximately the same texture, and it throws me off when there's no external visual cue to not insert flammable materials into my oven.
Ironically, Tombstone doesn't try to murder me like this: their pizza is slightly lesser in diameter than the cardboard, making it quickly obvious what I have to do to avoid culinary suicide-by-fire.
Regulate!
Since I haven't posted in awhile, here's Warren G's "Regulate", as (formerly) summarized by Wikipedia.
Next time…
...I get griped at for exceeding budget on a site, I'll show the client this.
The Manhattan Project exceeded its initial budget by....oh, only about thirty-three million percent or so.
Sending a message?
The 62-foot statue of Jesus built by a megachurch just off I-75 near Cincinnati, known locally as "Touchdown Jesus", was destroyed last night by lightning.
God was unavailable for comment on this matter.
McAfee McAgent.exe
I've decided that the mcagent.exe process installed by McAfee's Total Protection 2010 would be more aptly named "McHippie.exe".
Why? Because it just sits around in a daze, doing nothing, while consuming all your resources.
Bah-rum-bump.
(With apologies to actual, honest-to-God, granola-eating hippies.)
Colbert nails it: Privacy, Surveillance & the nexus between Corporations and Government
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| The Word - Spyvate Sector | ||||
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A brief thought on the value of ostentatious wealth….
So, it's old news now, but I've found myself thinking a lot about the recent purchase of the Pontiac Silverdome in Detroit, Michigan for the paltry sum of $583,000USD.
Every time I think about it, I kick myself for failing to take this opportunity to buy my own stadium. I can't explain why that is, exactly, but there it is. I don't even know what I'd do with it if I had it (invite 80,000 of my closest friends over, I guess), but there's a part of my brain that just seems wired to want to acquire something big that can be had cheap.
I then found myself wondering why the hell one of America's 360 billionaires didn't buy it. Because if I was a billionaire, I'd have bought it --just because-- and had it torn down and trucked to me piece by piece and rebuilt. What the hell would I need to explain to anyone about this? I'm a billionaire, and this is my stadium. End of discussion.
The thought occurs to me that America needs a good old-fashioned crazy/eccentric billionaire. The kind that spends astonishing sums on really bizarre things. Not like, Island-of-Dr.-Moreau crazy, but more like Howard-Hughes-before-the-jars crazed/brilliant. The best we got now is Robert Downey, Jr. and Christian Bale playing eccentric, but "troubled", billionaires. We need a real one.
Billionaires of America, your country needs you.

