brandondawson.org

So, it’s old news now, but I’ve found myself thinking a lot about the recent purchase of the Pontiac Silverdome in Detroit, Michigan for the paltry sum of $583,000USD.

Every time I think about it, I kick myself for failing to take this opportunity to buy my own stadium. I can’t explain why that is, exactly, but there it is. I don’t even know what I’d do with it if I had it (invite 80,000 of my closest friends over, I guess), but there’s a part of my brain that just seems wired to want to acquire something big that can be had cheap.

I then found myself wondering why the hell one of America’s 360 billionaires didn’t buy it. Because if I was a billionaire, I’d have bought it –just because– and had it torn down and trucked to me piece by piece and rebuilt. What the hell would I need to explain to anyone about this? I’m a billionaire, and this is my stadium. End of discussion.

The thought occurs to me that America needs a good old-fashioned crazy/eccentric billionaire. The kind that spends astonishing sums on really bizarre things. Not like, Island-of-Dr.-Moreau crazy, but more like Howard-Hughes-before-the-jars crazed/brilliant. The best we got now is Robert Downey, Jr. and Christian Bale playing eccentric, but “troubled”, billionaires. We need a real one.

Billionaires of America, your country needs you.