brandondawson.org Drupal Website Developer and Consultant

10 Life Lessons from the Dukes of Hazzard

10.) Respect Authority, but not Authoritarians.

9.) If you can't beat 'em, outrun 'em.

8.) Friends get you into jail. Sometimes, friends will even bail you out. Family will steal the keys to your cell via a humorous ruse, then break you out.

7.) Corrupt politicians and other villains win --and ultimately lose-- by the same motivations and methodologies.

6.) Moonshine can be adapted into an excellent petro-chemical substitute, and represents America's greatest hope for energy independence.

5.) Two boobs and a revealing set of jean shorts can take a woman very far in certain parts of the world, particularly when attempting #8, above.

4.) Respect your elders. They've been in more shit than you have, and generally have funnier stories to prove it. Wait your turn to be clever. It will come....when you're the elder. Them's the shakes.

3.) A hearty "Yee-haw" is good for the soul.

2.) Good will always triumph over evil. Especially if there's a car chase involved.

1.) When in doubt, think ornery. When REALLY in doubt, add dynamite, and repeat.

Editor's note: I speak, of course, of the timeless, classic TV incarnation of the Dukes, and not the commercialized, sexed-up movie version. I liked both, but the original is clearly superior.

Also, the image above is courtesy of Lore Sjoborg's excellent, and sadly now defunct, Brunching Shuttlecocks site, an internet classic, where you used to be able to find the hilarious Hazard County Driving Test. You can find Lore all over the web these days; last I checked, he works for Wired.